🧨 “Is this normal?”

If you have to ask, probably not—but also, welcome to the club. We specialize in making the abnormal feel oddly comforting.

🧼 “Do I have to be fully healed to join this community?”

Nope. Come as you are—whether you’re thriving, surviving, or sobbing in the shower while trying to manifest peace.

👀 “What if I ghost you by accident?”

It’s cool. We assume everyone’s just trying not to cry in public. Come back when you’re ready—we’ll still be weird and welcoming.

🍕 “Do you provide actual snacks?”

Only emotional ones. And maybe downloadable ones. Physical snacks are BYO…unless we’re hosting a retreat, then hell yes.

📦 “How do I get my free digital tools?”

After you sign up through our Un-F*ck Your Energy page, you’ll be able to pick your freebie(s) and get them straight to your inbox. Unless Mercury’s in the microwave again.

🔥 “Is this a cult?”

Only if your definition of a cult includes swearing, self-reflection, memes, trauma alchemy, and zero manipulation. So… nope. But we are a little obsessed with healing.

🎭 “What if I’m too broken for this?”

Same. That’s why we built it. This place was handcrafted by a semi-feral single mom with trauma glitter in her teeth—so if you feel like an emotional raccoon with a dream, you’re exactly our kind of people.

🐿️ “Why do squirrels keep showing up?”

Because healing is chaotic, and squirrels are our unhinged spirit animals. They hoard. They panic. They still make it through winter. Coincidence? We think not.

🧨 “What happens if I accidentally download the same freebie twice?”

You just double-f*cked your energy and honestly? That’s kinda iconic. Keep both. No one’s judging. Especially not us—our folders are pure mayhem.

🔮 “Do I have to believe in woo-woo stuff to hang out here?”

Nope. You can be spiritually skeptical, scientifically grounded, or fully committed to moon water and salt circles. As long as you’re not a jerk, you’re in.

👻 “What if I disappear for a while and come back like nothing happened?”

Perfect. That’s basically our brand. Re-entry is always allowed—just bring memes or emotional snacks when you return.

🗂️ “Are your products refundable?”

Usually no. We work hard making these spicy little healing bombs, and most are digital, which means once you’ve downloaded it, it's yours. Forever. Like a bad tattoo, but useful.

🛠️ “Can I request custom tools or content?”

Absolutely! We love weird ideas. Just shoot us a message at wtf@shadowlotus.org and tell us what kind of chaos you’re craving.

💡 “Is this therapy?”

Nope. We’re not licensed therapists. We’re trauma-informed weirdos with lived experience and a gift for turning pain into punchlines. This is self-help with sass—not a replacement for professional help (though we love a good therapy combo meal).

📅 “Will there be events or retreats?”

Eventually, yes. Once we’ve built enough structure not to crumble under the weight of our own ambition. Think yoga, healing circles, snacks, and lots of cackling. Stay tuned.

🧃 “Do you sell juice cleanses or detox teas?”
Absolutely not. We sell emotional fiber and existential reality checks—way healthier.

👁️ “Will anyone else know I’m here?”
Nope. It’s like a secret support club with memes instead of name tags. Your healing is your business. We just hand you tools.

🦄 “Do I have to be spiritual to hang out here?”
Nope. You can be skeptical, scientific, witchy, agnostic, or just here for the memes. We don’t discriminate—we vibe with whoever shows up real.

📱 “Will you spam me?”
Only if you count mildly chaotic healing wisdom, occasional swearing, and updates that feel like texts from your emotionally aware bestie as “spam.” (We don’t.)

🧙 “Do your tools actually work?”
They're not enchanted by moonlight or blessed by a forest witch (probably), but they’re built from lived experience, sass, and a dash of therapeutic mischief. Use responsibly.

🫠 “What if I’m too much?”
Same. We’re emotionally spicy weirdos too. This space was made for the beautifully ‘too much’—welcome to your people.

🧼 “Is there a clean version of this brand?”
LOL. No. The glitter is emotionally charged, the language is spicy, and we believe in healing that doesn’t require a filter. You’re safe here—mess and all.

🌪️ “What if I’m still in a toxic situation?”
Then you’re exactly who this was made for. We don’t expect perfection. Just presence. We’ve got you—one resource, one dark-humored truthbomb at a time.

🧹 “Is there a cleaning crew for emotional messes?”
Just the metaphorical kind. We provide the mop (aka healing tools). You’ll still have to do the mopping.

🐿️ “Can I bring my emotional support squirrel?”
Absolutely. Ours runs the inbox and occasionally throws nuts at the spam folder.

🧘‍♀️ “What if I just want to lurk and vibe?”
Do it. Lurkers are welcome. Observe, absorb, heal in silence, then disappear into the shadows like a wise raccoon.

🎭 “Is this just shadow work disguised as memes?”
...Yes. And it’s working. Laugh, cry, transform, repeat.

🥴 “Do you ever just scream into the void?”
Hourly. But we scream in cursive. It’s therapeutic and classy.