📜 Fine Print & Feral Terms
The Legally Binding Sass That Keeps This Circus From Exploding
Welcome to the fine print. It’s like reading a cursed scroll—only spicier, sassier, and written in a font that won’t hex your eyeballs.
🐿️ Squirrel Mode Activated: Quick Legal Nibbles
Look, we know attention spans are shorter than a TikTok therapy trend. So here’s the fast ‘n dirty version before your brain scampers off:
Don’t steal our stuff.
Don’t act like a whole gremlin.
We don’t promise magic, just healing vibes (with bite).
If you pay us, you’re agreeing to play by our spicy, unhinged rules.
If you ghost us, we’ll cry into snacks—but also stop emailing you.
Basically: Be cool, don’t sue us, and enjoy the weird ride.
By being here, you agree to play by the rules—our rules. If you use this site, our content, or our services, congrats: you’ve entered a legally binding agreement with Shadow Lotus. There’s no blood oath, just vibes and digital consent.
You must be 18+, emotionally stable-ish, and a real human (no bots or haunted Roombas). We’re here for the gloriously weird, not the illegally creepy.
No stealing, duplicating, pirating, or otherwise being a goblin. All content, tools, downloads, freebies, courses, images, videos, and deeply sarcastic one-liners are our intellectual property. Share? Sure. Steal? Prepare for a digital slap.
We worked hard on this mess. That means you don’t get to copy/paste our brilliance onto your sad Etsy store, blog, or sketchy coaching site. Logos, graphics, copy, freebies, courses, journals—all of it belongs to Shadow Lotus.
We believe in freedom of expression, healing, and the occasional meltdown. But if you:
Harass others
Spam the community
Send unsolicited advice, pics, or vibes
Act like a feral gaslighting demon
...you will be banished. Yeeted. Blocked. Poof.
We don’t promise healing, money, orgasms, spiritual awakenings, or your ex crawling back with an apology. We offer tools, guidance, humor, and chaos support. What you do with it is on you.
If you misinterpret our advice, journal too hard, or emotionally unravel mid-moon ritual— We. Are. Not. Responsible.
Sometimes we link to things we love. If you click it and buy something, we might get a lil' commission—without charging you extra. We only link stuff we’d actually use. No sketchy pyramid schemes here.
We can remove access, block users, or ban accounts if you break these terms, act like a troll, or bring MLM energy into our sacred chaos. Respect the space—or get booted from it.
We update these terms from time to time. You should check in occasionally—like your toxic ex stalking your Insta, but less pathetic.
We’re working toward a site that’s usable by everyone, including folks with disabilities. If something isn’t working for you, let us know. We’ll do our best to fix it without spiraling.
This entire circus operates under the laws of North Dakota (or wherever the HQ of healing sarcasm is based). Disputes will be handled with professionalism, not petty hexes.
Summary:
Don’t be a jerk. Don’t steal our stuff. Take responsibility for your healing. And enjoy the beautiful, chaotic ride.
Shadow Lotus: Healing, Humor, and Legally Compliant Feral Energy.